Misunderstanding Leads to Bloody Frenzy

CHEESETON: Mrs Farmer (32) is charged with grievous bodily harm on three disabled brothers.

A spokesman for the brothers, who are visually challenged, stated that they were expecting a delivery of cheese last Thursday and when they heard Mrs Farmer they assumed it was their delivery and went to greet the delivery person. However, as they approached they heard a shrill scream and the footsteps retreated rapidly.

Worried that the person may have been injured in some way they followed so they could render aid. Instead of finding the person in trouble they were confronted by what they called “a screaming mad-woman wielding a carving knife”. Mrs Farmer was seen slashing at the brothers as they tried to ask her what the matter was.

Witnesses called the police and ambulance to the scene.  One eye-witness, who does not wish to be named, described the scene as “bloody and sickening, she just kept hacking at the poor mice.”

Mrs Farmer’s lawyer released the following statement this morning, “Mrs Farmer, a recent immigrant, regrets that she was unable to understand Mousican fluently enough to realise that the brothers were actually asking her to stop so they could help her if she was hurt. Instead, she miss-understood their squeaks to mean that they were going to hurt her when she stopped, and so tried to escape what she thought was an ambush. When she found she was too tired to run further she tried to defend herself with the carving knife that she had just collected from the butchers.”

The Police Department have released the following statement. “While we are unable to comment on individual cases before the courts it is accepted that immigrants are required to attain a basic level of the national language, in this case, Mousican. It is never acceptable for any vulnerable member of the community, such as disabled persons, to be attacked in any manner and we praise the onlookers who rendered first-aid and other assistance to the victims.”

The brothers are said to be in a stable but critical condition in Cheeseton Regional Hospital. Doctors at the hospital are confident they will be able to re-attach their severed tails. However, they state, “the next 48 hours will be critical for the mice’s recovery.”

Mrs Farmer will face court on 29th December 2012.